I went back down the hill to see Babulnath Mandir. Babul = Acacia trees, which used to grow in the area back in the day. Mandir = Temple. The temple’s entrance was at the bottom of the hill, about where I had started up earlier to get to the Gardens. There was a long uphill approach to the temple, and some smaller shrines lining the road. There was also a cow shed and a place where you could buy grass to feed the cows to earn yourself some Hindu Points. (like at the Jain sanctuary) At the end of the road there was a really long staircase to climb, and a one rupee elevator you could take if you weren’t in the mood for the climb. Up at the very tip top was a pleasant little pavillion with the temple and shrine in the middle of it.

The shrine had a lingam (phallic image of Shiva) but I don’t think the shrine was dedicated particularly to any one god, because there were images of Ganesh (elephant head), and Hanuman (monkey head) and a special shrine to a couple that I couldn’t identify for sure (Rama and Sita?) as well as images of Shiva (blue face). It was all very beautiful.

I asked a guard if I could take some pictures of the outside, and he said that would be ok He cautioned me not to take pictures of the inside and I assured him that I wouldn’t.

As I was walking over to the shrine, a chubby little man walked over to me and introduced himself as N-something-with-four-syllables. I said hi, didn’t introduce myself, and walked past him. I really didn’t want a tour guide on my little walk around the temple. I like to check stuff out myself, even if I do miss out on some of the local history or religious trivia. But he was not to be deterred. . .

He followed me up to the shrine. There was a puja (prayer service) going on, but he started talking anyway, in a regular voice, telling me who all the gods were. A few people turned and stared at him. I gave him a quick smile and nodded curtly to try to make him shut up, but he steamrolled right on ahead. He seemed to be warming to his subject of “Hinduism: a religion and a mythology,” and I was marshalling my arguments for how I hadn’t asked for a tour and why I wasn’t going to pay him, when all of a sudden he steered our one sided conversation off the highway of Hinduism and onto the side street of Why I want to marry an “abroad woman.” Ah ha. Do you now. That is nice. (The pieces fall into place. This must be why the security guard gave me that pitying look when this guy started following me into the temple.) What a coincidence that you want to marry and “abroad woman” -as I am an “abroad woman” who happens to be looking to marry an annoying, pudgy man who bores me by talking about things I am not interested in. I smiled (politely, I hope, not encouragingly) and nodded, and turned away. After a little while he moved to the topic “Do you believe in god?” I didn’t even want to ask whose. I laughed (A la Ms. Crabapple, from “The Simpsons,” I am afraid to say) and said I didn’t want to start talking about religion. He started telling me about how he thinks that as long as you are a good person, you can be a Christian too. He was very serious about all this. He clasped his hands in front and rolled his eyes back so you could see the whites and nodded very slowly and solemnly every time he was being sincere or reverential. He went on for a while about how when you pray to god and you are real in your heart god grants your wish, and about how deeply he believes this. You have to pray in your heart (eye roll, slow nod). I think it is important for me to marry an abroad woman (eye roll, slow nod). You must be very serious in your prayers (eye roll, slow nod, pursed lips, meaningful look). I cut him off and turned to watch the ceremony.

I guess my snubs finally hit home, (I think I may actually have the ability to emanate irritation, this may be one of my superpowers) because eventually he wandered away -presumably off to stalk the next unwitting white lady who was interested in seeing the shrine. Hopefully she brought her boyfriend, or a suitor-poking stick. I wonder where my Lothario wants to get, the US or Europe, or if he cares.

The puja was wonderful to see. Everyone was chanting and clapping their hands. The monks started doing something loud, a couple of guys started ringing bells, and some workmen were banging on the sides of the temple fixing something. It sounded like a thunderstorm. I had to block my ears. The chanting and ringing kept going and going, very intense. I began to wonder when the god was going to show up. At some signal that was lost on me, everyone started parting and the group made a space down the middle. It seemed as though that was the path the god they were waiting for would be coming down. When someone from the back would try to stand in the center, where the path had been made, to see better, someone from the front would wave them off to the side. It went on for about 15 minutes, then the noise got very strong and loud for a few minutes, then it was over. People started walking around a bit, rotating up to the front to give their offerings. Facing the shrine was a statue of a cow seated, with a small turtle in front of it. An odd pairing, but I am sure it means something. I feel like I had read something about it, but I can’t remember what. I think the turtle might have been the thing holding up the mountain when the gods and the demons churned the sea of milk with the snake and there might be more but this sentence is already bizarre enough. Or the turtle might be Shiva’s traveling animal, and the cow is just there because cows are important. But I don’t really know, so I think I will just stop talking about it now. Hinduism has lots of fun stories.

For some reason my potential seducer reminded me a lot of Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice. I guess because he was that deadly lady killer mixture of sanctimonious and wants-to-get-married-to-whatever’s-around. Good luck to the smooth operator. Shoot for the stars, or the green card.

Back at Chowpatty there was some carnival stuff going on for the holiday. Families were spreading blankets around and having snacks. Two little girls thought I was really funny and came up and waved. Then they ran back to their mom. I stopped to take a picture of the rides and lights, and they came up again. The mom walked over too, and they all smiled and said Hi! I grinned back, which was apparently hilarious, and then they waved bye and went off to join the festivities.